Do you hate yourself for wasting your talent, squandering your potential, and being stuck wondering why you can’t seem to “get a life?” Lots of Distractoids* suffer from “lifelessness.”
What would it be like to “have a life” that feels right? A life where you access and enjoy using the best of your abilities and talent. How does a wayward Distractoid do that?
I’d like to share what’s helped me and and what I’ve seen work for fellow ADDers (and shhhh! — quite a few Muggles, too).
Thing One: Recognize that it doesn’t matter what you’ve done or haven’t done that makes you a worthy member of the human race. As a living soul with a beating heart, you’re just as worthy as anyone else already. MODS allow themselves to feel that and know that truth. Always!
Thing Two: Make the firm choice to let your strengths, interests, and values be your guide. There are resources on the web and books about how to figure what your strengths, interests, and values are. A good ADHD Coach can help here as well. Your brain will have an much easier time acting with these powerful forces aligned.
One guide: look to things you’ve done in the past that have given you a sense of personal satisfaction. Things that mattered to you. These can be big or small. As long as you got personal satisfaction out of doing and completing these tasks.
Thing Three: Make the firm choice to do what’s exciting and fun. Something where there is an element of play. Don’t listen to people who are always emphasizing how “not all life is fun” and how “we all have to do things we don’t enjoy.” MODS know we must do things we do enjoy!
Thing Four: Make the firm choice never ever to do anything you know you will not love (at least most of the time). Distractoids get stuck in jobs they hate. Just because you can do something is not a good reason to do it.
Thing Five: Choose to act in an environment that makes your brain happy. You know what I mean, right? If offices bum you out, don’t go there. If you need sunshine, get it.
Thing Six: Be Wide Open. Could it be that your lack of life might be from a lack of imagination or boldness to your approach? Have you played it too safe? Have you sacrificed your true dreams and desires out of a perceived need to please others or conform? Does your life lack something that challenges you in a good way? If you are saying yes to these questions, maybe it’s time to shake it up.
Thing Seven: If you are stuck, choose to do volunteer work where you can make a difference. You think you don’t have time for that? Think again. Being in service, giving of yourself — these actions will bolster your confidence and self worth. MODS know that good things come to those who do good things.
Thing Eight: Get help from trusted friends or a coach or a career counselor who understands ADHD. Getting a life can be daunting for anyone. Facing things alone makes it worse. Even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and Silver. Ask for and receive help and support.
And Good Luck,
Andrew Avery (aka Distractoid Drew)
Factoid — facts and information relevant to Distractoids
Distractoid — a person living with untreated or undertreated ADHD
Master of Distraction (MOD) — a person who has learned to live in tune with, not against, ADHD