For a solo Distractoid* facing all the demands of life, just getting by can feel overwhelming. The results of going it alone: stress, frustration, anxiety, demoralization, and feelings of isolation and failure.
That’s not good.
Getting the support you need in areas of weakness can make life much easier and allow for more time in your areas of strength. Here are some steps to take towards building up your support system.
Step 1: Learn to recognize when you need help. Are you avoiding a task where a little help might come in handy. What does that feel like? Learn to be conscious of when these feelings are activated, so they don’t go on and on and become just another part of your life.
Step 2: Be brutally honest. Are you really going to paint the basement ever? Clean out the garage? Launch a search for a better job? If you are uncertain, act and make a choice . Get help. If there is something you’ve put off for a while, what is going to motivate you now? If there is nothing, I say get help.
Step 3: Consider easy solutions that are inexpensive or free. For instance, sometimes all we need to get started is having someone else present while we do the work. That could be a parent or friend sitting with you while you do your homework or purge your closet. Need help organizing, ask an acquaintance who’s got skills and likes organizing if they might watch to see how you’re doing. They might take pity on you and jump right in!
Step 4: If you need to pay for support, recognize the value of your mental health and peace of mind. In the past, I would avoid hiring if there was any cost involved. I told myself I couldn’t afford it. Now, I almost always feel that money spent that helps me live better and be happier is money well spent.
Step 5: Recognize that for just about any kind of activity, support is available. Hate washing the dogs? Make a groomer part of your support system. Hate getting the dogs together and driving to the groomer. Call a mobile groomer to come to your place. Services are available these days to do just about any job.
Step 6: Take five or ten minutes to think about all the areas of your life where you could use help. Don’t think about any limiting factors. Just imagine what it would be like if you could get help for anything and everything you wanted. What would life be like?
A support system might include the following: an ADHD Coach, therapist, psychiatrist, professional organizer, cleaning person, gardener, tutor or study partner, babysitter, book-keeper, accountant, financial advisor, nutritionist, personal trainer or exercise partner, personal shopper, virtual assistant, computer tech and home electronics person, handyman, dog-walker/groomer, massage therapist, chef, caterer etc.
Any number of professionals and service people might be an element in your support system, depending on what your life is like and what your needs might be. It’s not like you need all these people all the time: just to be aware that you can call upon all kinds of support if and when you need it.
Masters of Distraction develop a support mentality. It’s simply recognizing that we all need help sometimes. Recognizing when an unfinished task is driving up our anxiety and becoming an energy suck. Being realistic about what we can and can’t do ourselves. Being realistic about the limits of our motivation and energy.
Good luck in developing the support system you deserve!
Andrew Avery (aka Distractoid Drew)
Factoid — facts and information relevant to Distractoids
Distractoid — a person living with untreated or undertreated ADHD
Master of Distraction (MOD) — a person who has learned to live in tune with, not against, ADHD