My Fellow Distractoids,
In the previous blog post, I talked about 3 Signs You Need Support for ADHD. Today, I want to share with you 3 Signs of ADHD Damage in Relationships.
The divorce rate for people with ADHD is double than for non-ADHDers. That’s almost too much misery and failure to fathom. And it doesn’t have to be that way. (Another time I will talk about healing the damage.) If you are experiencing any of these three factors in your relationship, it’s time to consider getting help:
- The relationship is unbalanced in terms of overall responsibility. The ultimate example of this is when the non-ADHD partner complains they feel “like they have another kid in the house.” If your relationship has a parent-child aspect, it’s time to call for support. This kind of imbalance (in planning, child-rearing, chores etc.) is a relationship killer.
- Entrenched reactive/triggering behavior: If you and your loved one have fallen into patterns where you easily and constantly trigger anger and reactivity in one-another, better call a time-out and reassess the fundamentals of the situation. To constantly be in a state of reactive anger is highly unpleasant and unlikely to resolve itself.
- Avoidance/Retreat: Do you often feel the need to remove yourself from your significant other or spouse and engage in behaviors like “hiding” in the office or basement in order to relax? Does it feel like your spouse is frequently pursuing you and that you are in retreat? This is a third sign that your relationship is going in the wrong direction and needs a reset.
The good news is that these and other relationship issues result from having two different kinds of brains in the house, which causes a great deal of miscommunication and lack of understanding.
Through education and coaching, it’s very possible to improve communication and understanding and, thereby, heal the damage. But, in my experience, these problems rarely fix themselves, so support is in order. The stakes are high and consequences are major, so don’t wait to act.
Until next time, good luck!